some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
