Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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