You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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