I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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