I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
