Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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