She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
