my sisters under your porch take her home
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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