I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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