he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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