I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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