the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
