He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
