going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's rum buckets o'clock
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
