I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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