I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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