I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
