i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize