ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
