I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
