So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm too high and old for this...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
