Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
