The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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