The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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