That's when you crack a 10am beer
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize