Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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