Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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