Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
