somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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