i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
