If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
