I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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