I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
