You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
