is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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