you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
