id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
