...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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