Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
