oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
