You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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