Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
