I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
