I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
