hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
