He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
