you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
