The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
