He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
