I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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