This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
