Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
