their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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