i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
