you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
