By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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