i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think your dad took our porno
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
