U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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