i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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