Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
