WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You're like the curious george of whores
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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